Sunday, May 28, 2006
haiz..jus wat is happenin
jus wat is happenin.. aft tat monday i say sth wrong den everyth start to becm worst.. my attitude change le i do tink so aft u say but i reali dunno y.. cuz i jus hv too much things on my mind.. mayb i jus being selfish tat all.. i always an idiot de.. always jus do wat i wanna do but nv tink abt other ppl feelin i reali cant take it le.. i dun wan to carry on le.. i jus reali wish u nv luv me at all.. i reali dun wanna c u sad n unhappy.. u becuz of me unhappy n sad hw many time le.. nt onli one tm it been alot of tm le. u knw hw i feel ma.. i feel hlpless.. i dunno wat to do.. i reali very confused le.. when u sad i will tell myself nt again.. pls.. y is it always happenin to me.. i cant take it anymore jus let me die.. i nw hv to go my mom office to wk le.. hut since mornin i nv do anyth.. i jus lay on my bed jus lazy to do anyth.. later go office sure get scoldin de... y on my off day stil hv to wk.. sick n tired of everyth.. i reali dun wan to carry on le.. my head nw is damn pain.. u wan scold me or wat i dun mind if it make u feel better.. i reali feel lyk gvin up than hurtin u so much.. i dun wan to c u hurt n c u in pain.. u tink i dun hv feelin de meh. aft all im a human.. pls tell me wat to do nw.. i reali wish i m alone nw.. den i can hurt no1.. it jus to painful to carry on le.. since feb till nw everyth seem so bad.. n it true tat i stil cant forget e past.. i jus cant.. i lied to u tat i hv but i jus cant it nt becuz u nt gd enough for me n u nt a gd stead it jus abt me.. it all abt me n my past.. if i cant 4get e past i cant luv u wholeheartenly.. i knw i shouldnt hv agree tat day.. cuz i tot if i can find sum1 else i can 4get e past but it nt.. i jus cant.. i knw u wan to c me happy.. im happy to hv u.. but i reali dun wanna c u hurt by me u understand it nt tat i dun luv u anymore.. it jus i dunno wat i tinkin nw also.. i tink it better for me to stay single ba i guess.. den at least i knw i wont hurt any1 or ppl get hurt becuz of me.. i reali hate myself.. all e msg u send me.. i reali dunno hw to reply u bk nw... cuz i dun wan to lie to u tat i do luv u.. i do luv u but nt as much as u luv me ba i guess.. haiz.. i dunno wat to do.. sum1 pls hlp me.. jus let me die.. if i leave tis world everyth will be much better for u.. i dun wan becuz of me u nt happy.. dunno wat to say le.. haiz....
confuseme [1:00 PM]
___makee a wiish___
Monday, May 22, 2006
hmm.. so long nv blog le..
i change my song again.. it called Love story by fan yi chen.. e meanin of e song very nice.. many things happen tis few days. i cant reali say all.. fri my off day.. as usual hv to do all e hsewk den go out.. my dear cm my hse wait 4 me do hsewk until 1 plus lyk tat.. she mus be bored to death cuz i let her wait 4 2 hour.. sori dear.. hmm.. den abt 2 take bus 76 go katong den we go eat first den go ktv.. went in at 3 end at 6.. we sing alot of song.. haa.. e rest dun wan say in detail i knw can le.. den aft tat take a bus to paya lebar den take mrt to somerset burgerking go find aL.. haa.. she doin cashier.. too bad cant go her counter order cuz her manager suddenly dunno do wat to her cashier.. sianz.. cant disturb her.. den aft awhile she breaktm le.. she went cheeer to buy sweets.. sweets again.. she forever de.. nv eat but always eat sweets nia.. den she sit wif us den tok awhile.. haa.. c her blurr look.. omg.. den abt 8 plus me n my dear left bk den went to smoke den took mrt bk lo.. but so sad i cant send her hm den i alight at amk cuz my mom naggin le.. den while on e way hm i call her tok till i rch hm.. den aft my mom go slp i call my dear tok.. den suddenly hp no batt den we sms each other both lyk want to slp but dun wan slp.. but at last i fall aslp le.. forever de me.. always fall aslp de.. den sat i went HDB wif my mom den she go her ah ma hse den cm to wk at 5 den c her lyk so sad de.. haiz.. c her sian sian i aso sian sian le..haiz... den wk tat tm i do cashier she do outside.. den end wk le den i send her hm.. she ask me alight but i dun wan cuz i worry cuz so late le..den i sen dher hm aft tat i take a mrt to amk den wait 4 bus lucky my mom slp le so she dunno.. haa..
hmm.. nd to go wk le.. sianzz... haiz.. dear ar.. reali dun wanna c u sad or sian lo..i knw i wk taT tm nv reali go tok tok to u or wat cuz i wkin ma.. haiz.. but i will try my very best to go tok to u when i wk k.. dun wanna c u sad.. mis yua lot n luv ya lots.. u tc k.. hope at nite can go bishan find u hope my mom dunno i wk until 8...heez.. hope to c u soon.. i go bath den go wk le...
confuseme [10:40 AM]
___makee a wiish___
Monday, May 15, 2006
wo de xin zhen de hen tong..
haiz.. ytd is a very sad day.. hw can i so selfish sia..reali hate myself.. i make her so sad until she cry.. when i knw she cry my heart is damn pain...cannt stand it le so take penknife cut myself but jus a small cut... haiz.. im reali sori dear nv meant to make u cry de.. i knw u tryin so hard to make me 4get my sad past n u wan to c me happy n nt sad... i aso dun wanna c u sad.. i promise i will nv make u sad le.. haiz.. xin hen tong... i will try my best to make u smile everyday.. thks 4 bringin smile on my face when im sad.. later u got wk le.. rest well den wk tat tm wont be tired.. c ya later.. luv ya lots.. thks 4 everyth..
confuseme [9:04 AM]
___makee a wiish___
Sunday, May 07, 2006
haiz...sprain my ankle sia.. so pain lo..
no mood to write anyth.. ankle damn pain.. cant even walk fast.. haiz.. later mayb goin c chinese doc.. i scare pain sia.. sum more i go alone.. if edwin in singapore he can pei me.. haiz.. ytd when fall i cry sia cuz reali pain den my manager say she first tm saw me cry sia.. she tot i very strong de.. ya.. i seldom cry de.. but is very sad or pain den lyk tat lo.. anyw im a human aso.. nt superwomen.. haa.. cry awhile den start laughin le.. actually wan faster wk fin de becm slower.. haiz.. den i dun wan sit dwn n rest jus continue doin my closin lo.. today im wkin dunno can go wk ma.. c wat e doc say lo.. haiZ.. SO sway... sianz.. stupid ankle.. no tm le.. got to buy breakfast 4 my sis.. blog tml..
confuseme [6:55 PM]
___makee a wiish___
Thursday, May 04, 2006
ting wo shuo wo ai ni..
ytd i go drink beer sia.. dunno y.. jus recall bk to e past den suddenly feel so sad lo.. i drink damn fast.. less than 1 min drink fin le.. den feel lyk vomitin lo.. head aso damn pain.. den when rch hm straight away go toilet cuz stomach pain.. den head very pain sia.. den go bath lo.. aft bath my head stil damn pain.. den go wash my sis uniform le.. den went bk to toilet again.. den msg al.. haiz.. she sick.. aiyo nv take care of herself de.. 4ever de.. hmm.. den i fall aslp at e toilet bowl there den i suddenly feel lyk vomitin..i stay in e toilet 4 1 hour sia.. haiz.. feel so xin ku.. den aft vomit i went to hang clothe den faster throw all e clothes to wash den went to my room to slp.. cant even tink n walk properly.. haiz.. hmm.. goin to cut hair later...
zi xiang shuo wo ai ni... wo xiang jian zhe ni de shou bu fai kai... kai bu liao kou...* im missin euu nw.. hope euu r alrite..
confuseme [10:10 AM]
___makee a wiish___
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
im missin euu so much....
nv blog le since i last blog on thur.. haa.. feelin much better nw.. thur my dar cm my hse.. i go her hse there bring her cm.. den she came to c my dog.. august so fierce lo keep barkin.. haa.. den we watch tv.. but got nth to watch so i ask her if she wanna use com den she went to my blog to read.. omg.. i so pai seh lo.. she keep readin out wat i write... haa... aft tat she log in to msn den keep disturbin those guys who tok to her until they fed up den nv reply bk le.. haha.. den abt 5 plus we went to serangoon garden there to eat.. omg e food we order so nice lo.. i dunno hw to spell wat we eat.. aft eat we went to e pet shop to c puppies..den we took bus bk to my hse busstop den pei her wait 4 bus.. den her bus cm le she gv me a kiss on cheek.. i was shocked.. but very happy.. first tm ppl gv me a kiss on e cheek...heez.. luv ya lot lot.. she say i bu zi dong.. take so long to hold her hand.. izzit i pai seh... ya.. abit la.. thks 4 bringin e smile bk on my face again.. n sori 4 tat day tat incident wif my mom n sis.. reali sori dear.. i didnt wan iot to happen.. but lucky i can get to call euu if nt it will be worse..5 days cant c euu le.. reali mis euu alot..hope tml can get to c euu b4 i go wk.. haiz.. later wkin at 10.. very tired sia.. i slp 3 hour today onli.. cuz tryin to find out hw to make e blog 4 her den tml can teach her.. hmm... guess nw she stil slpin ba.. dun wanna diaturb her later den msg her..
dear xiao zhu.. reali jus wanna euu to knw i will be there 4 euu no matter wat.. there will be up n dwn in tis relationship but jus hope we can go thru it tgt k.. dun ever gv up so easily.. i reali do luv euu n jus wanna c euu happy n nth else.. if u got any problem or troubles can let me knw de.. i will be there to hlp u.. jus call my name n i be there.. reali hope 23rd may u can go out...n mus study hard 4 ur make up course worx.. n hope u can do wat u wanna do.. dun be discourage by wat ppl say.. believe in urself k.. you r always e best.. wo ai ni.... muackz.. hugs.. n thks 4 everyth..=p
confuseme [7:52 AM]
___makee a wiish___
